Thursday, December 5, 2013

Steps to Becoming a Yummy Mummy

Okay ladies, I’m putting you all on notice. Do any of the following article titles strike a nerve, stir a memory or send your insecurities into overdrive?

Feed on Demand and Drop the Baby Weight in Six Weeks!
Cut Out Sugar and Regain Your Pre-Pregnancy Body!

Look At Me Now! Kim Kardashian’s Post- Baby Eating Plan
Look down at your body. Your breasts are probably swollen, sensitive to touch and leaking more dairy product than a split two litre carton in the middle of the freezer section; your once slender stomach in no longer pulled taut and smooth, your abs have been pushed apart and rearranged, swimming in a sea of loosened flesh, tired muscles and inevitable stretchmarks. Your feet, you’d think they would shrink, currently squeezing into sensible sneakers or convenient slip on’s and let’s not get started on the indignity of your nether regions – stitches, tears and the dreaded prospect of sex too soon after the fact. It’s just too much.

Every day you pick up a new magazine detailing the successes of famous women, conquering childbirth and beyond, sporting washboards and box gaps mere weeks after leaving the delivery suite and here you are, exhausted in your lounge room, disgusted by the folds of skin rolling over your maternity jeans. You’re failing. Even with a snap of exercise here and there, and cutting all of the crap from your diet, the weight won’t budge. Stop comparing yourself to cashed up cover girls, spoiled with a personal staff of cooks and personal trainers, nannies and dieticians, all bent on carving out the best product possible. Stop it now. Instead take up these five life changing tips and be surprised by how easy it can be to change your life – you won’t slide into a size ten to twelve straight away, but you’ll be happier, healthier and sexier within a couple of weeks

Get More Sleep

I know, I know, you’re trying, right? Sleep and newborns are contradictory creatures, particularly after another early morning feed; short of cloning your boobs, there’s not much you can do in the shut-eye department, or so it would seem. Yes, it SEEMS that way. Solution? Two options. Express a bottle or two and call your partner to arms, laying down the realities of parenthood – it took two to tango, time to do his part – or sleep fifteen minutes earlier, every night. Fifteen minutes. Not a huge amount of time really; after seven consecutive nights of an extra fifteen minutes, you will notch up an extra two hours of sleep a week.

Buy Smaller Plates

After a day of doing a million things at once, it’s hard to measure your own appetite, assuming you need volume calories to cope with the demands of a baby. While you will crave a pick me up every now and then (Milk Way chocolate bars, anyone?), cut back on meal time overloads and downsize your plates. Really. Take your own crockery out the back and smash it over the tile, cleaning up the mess and replace it with a serving friendly dish. We are visual creatures, attracted to large portions, particularly when we’re trying to survive, thrive and recover. A small dish will make portions seem larger and more filling, satisfying our psychosomatic desire for sustenance.

Spoil Yourself

While a spa treatment may be out of the question at the present moment, spend an extra ten minutes in the morning slathering yourself in your favourite lotions, while your partner, mother, friend or mammary stand-in entertains the little one. Or why not treat yourself at ? It’s important not to lose yourself in the Mummy identity, you are much more than your biological and social function and ten minutes being kind to yourself will ground those feelings of uncertainty. Remember, you’re awesome, before and after birth, no amount of stretchmarks will change that.
Being “yummy” is a state of mind; are you ready to change yours? Let me know how you feel below.

Image via: Sura Nualpradid of

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